The little girls you tuck into bed each night need you to remember something important. They do not need a perfect mother. They need a present mother. They need a mom who listens, who validates their feelings, and who teaches them that they are seen and safe, even when the world feels unsafe.

When my daughters were very young, we created rituals together. Each morning before school, we chose words to carry with us into the day, simple affirmations that reminded us we were seen, we were strong, and we were not alone. To anyone on the outside, it may have looked like a small thing, but inside our little family it was everything.

I didn't understand that family court is not built to recognize abuse that doesn't leave a visible bruise (sometimes, that doesn't even seem to matter). I didn't know that coercive control, manipulation, and emotional abuse are often invisible to the system. I didn't know that strategy would matter more than truth. I didn't yet understand that I was walking into a long game that would require more grit, clarity, and restraint than I ever thought I had.

I’m not someone who seeks conflict. I lose sleep over it. I went into this separation hoping for civility. The reality, however, was that you cannot co-parent with someone whose goal is not the well-being of the children. You cannot co-parent with someone who uses the court system to punish and control. You cannot co-parent with an abuser.

We often assume that having money means having power and protection but in family court, that’s not always the case. In this deeply personal reflection, I share how losing everything; my home, my marriage, and my financial security, ultimately spared me from a system that profits off the pain of families with resources.

I check my weather app often. It doesn’t promise perfection, but it usually offers enough of a heads-up to make smart decisions…whether to grab an umbrella, cancel a hike, or brace for a storm. I don’t expect certainty. I expect a forecast.

Profiling a narcissist is much the same.

In high-conflict custody battles, confusion can be dangerous. Narcissists are rarely chaotic by accident. Their behaviors follow patterns, even if, on the surface, they feel unpredictable.

Narcissistic abusers are notorious for draining victims of self-esteem and positive self-image.

Across Arizona, a growing coalition of protective parents is refusing to stay silent about the failures of the family court system. These survivors have joined together to form the Arizona Safe Parents Organization (ASPO)—a new advocacy group working to reform laws and shift priorities from parental rights to child safety. I had the opportunity to sit down with ASPO to learn more about who they are, how they got started, and where they’re headed. What follows is their story—in their own words.

Many people in this community know exactly what it is to sit awake at night longing for an apology from someone who hurt you deeply. It is one of the most human things we can want, validation that what happened was wrong, acknowledgment that it was not our fault, hope that maybe it will never happen again.

Grand juries cannot investigate or second-guess the merits of court rulings, but they can investigate the operations and programs connected to the courts, as long as those fall under local government responsibility. For instance, a grand jury would not weigh in on whether a particular child custody decision was right or wrong, but it could examine whether a court-appointed contractor (like a minor’s counsel or a counseling service paid with public funds) is adhering to their contract and ethical standards.

Coercive control can cause victims to feel uncomfortable, confused, and suspicious even in our own minds. Learning how to use your voice, trust yourself, and accept and live in reality are crucial steps in healing.

Overwhelm, exhaustion, and feelings of inadequacy are common for single parents. Struggle is most definitely a certainty. But survivors share that the emotional, physical, mental, and financial struggles of single parenthood don’t hold a candle to unbearable fatigue that comes with the abuser’s manufactured chaos.

When children resist spending time with an abusive parent, it’s not because the safe parent “turned them against” the abuser—it’s because of the abuser’s own actions. Coercive control, threats, manipulation, emotional neglect, and even witnessing abuse toward the other parent can create a climate where children feel unsafe, anxious, or outright afraid. These reactions are not manufactured by the protective parent—they’re a survival response.

The short answer is: yes—when you know what to look for. In high-conflict custody battles, knowledge isn’t just power—it’s protection. One of the most empowering steps a protective parent can take is learning how to profile the narcissist. This isn’t about labeling or diagnosing—it’s about strategy. It's about understanding the patterns, tactics, and behaviors that drive a narcissistic individual, so you can anticipate what’s coming and prepare accordingly. When you know your opponent, you stop reacting and start responding.

Inside the guide, you’ll learn how reunification therapy operates in a legal and ethical gray zone; how court orders are drafted and manipulated to coerce compliance; how families are selected and exploited based on financial disclosures; and strategic ways to document, question, and push back.

In the Documentation System and Workshop at The Rulebook Academy, I walk you through every detail of the system I used—from creating a credible timeline of events to using email strategically, to organizing your documentation in a way that court professionals respect.

This isn’t just a course. It’s a roadmap for reclaiming control in a process designed to wear you down.

Financial abuse can make it feel impossible to access the support you need—whether it's therapy, legal consultations, coaching, or educational tools to help you navigate the family court system.

When we did the custody exchanges in public and I was alone, he would call me a whore and other degrading names. His face would contort with rage, and the children would often cry because they were terrified of him. But if I brought someone with me? He was on his best behavior—respectful, calm, controlled. That’s when I began to fully grasp the concept of impression management. It was never about the kids. It was about control. Always.

This year, as Reiser prepares for her Rhode Island run, she’s calling on the media to join her in amplifying this critical issue especially at the finish line because there is a new initiative this year. We are going to be wrapping up the run at the family court in Providence and this is because the underbelly of narcissistic abuse is the darkness and corruption that riddles family courts all over the world.

The tangled web that a narcissistic abuser weaves is enough to make anyone feel disoriented. So why all the little lies—the dumb stuff that really doesn’t matter?

Narcissists lie about small, inconsequential things for several reasons.