Starting 2026 With Purpose While Navigating Family Court With a Narcissist
January teaches survivors something that the rest of the year rarely allows: how to move with intention instead of urgency. It gives us a quieter month to reflect on what we have learned, how far we have come, and what our bodies have been forced to carry while navigating family court with a narcissist. The lessons of January are not meant to stay in January. They are meant to set the pace for the year ahead.
From personal experience, I know there is a harsh reality to this. Many survivors cannot fully heal until their children are safe. You can read all the books, attend all the classes, and listen to every podcast, yet your nervous system will not fully settle while you are fighting to protect your child. We are wired that way. Our body is designed to sound the alarm when our child is in danger. The battle demands everything from us, and the body keeps the score. Many of us are finally realizing the toll this has taken. Myself included.
If I could go back in time, I would have prioritized healing in small doses. Not because I had time. Not because things were calm. Not because it felt natural. I would have prioritized healing because the battle was long, and my body was not built to run at that intensity forever. Healing does not require a yoga retreat or hours of meditation. Healing often begins with ten minutes. Five minutes. Thirty seconds of intentional breath before you open the next hostile email.
My therapist once said something that stopped me in my tracks. She told me that every morning I needed to remember one word: RPM. I asked, “RPM?” thinking she was going to give me some complex psychological principle.
Rise. Pee. Meditate.
I laughed out loud. She was trying to take away my most convincing argument: “I do not have time to meditate.” She told me to wake up ten minutes earlier, use the restroom, sit on my bathroom floor, and meditate for ten minutes. I created grocery lists for six of those minutes, but over time my mind began to understand the assignment. It changed my life. It gave me a way to start my day regulated and anchored before stepping into the chaos of high conflict custody battles.
January invites us to discover simple practices like that and carry them into the rest of the year. Not perfectly. Not every day. Not as a performance. As a survival tool.
Here are a few intentions survivors often begin in January and weave through the rest of the year:
Pace instead of push. Survivors often operate at level ten because trauma demands it. Intentionally slowing down helps you reclaim agency and conserve emotional energy.
Pause before reacting. A five second pause changes everything. Intentionality protects your peace and your record.
Notice the moments of peace. Even small ones. The sun on your face. A quiet car ride. The sound of your child laughing. Peace is not the absence of chaos. Peace is the presence of grounding.
Find your oxygen mask. You cannot win a war without fuel. Rest, movement, breath, meditation, journaling, stretching, walking, whatever reconnects you to yourself…this is not indulgence. This is survival.
Practice letting go of what is not yours to carry. The court’s misunderstanding is not your identity. The narcissist’s narrative is not your truth. The opinions of uninformed outsiders are not your burden.
The inward season teaches us to evaluate, to breathe, to regulate, and to release. These lessons are not temporary. They are preparation. They are the foundation of clarity, and clarity is a powerful weapon against chaos.
As you move into the rest of 2026, give yourself permission to carry January with you. Not the pressure. Not the expectations. The wisdom. The grounding. The intentionality. The quiet strength that comes from seeing yourself clearly again.
January is not an ending. January is the quiet doorway into the rest of the year.
The fine print:
I am not an attorney and I am not qualified to provide legal advice. Everything I share is based on personal experience and over a decade of work supporting others through high conflict custody battles. It is essential to consult with your attorney before making any legal decisions or implementing strategies discussed here. Your attorney is your legal voice and your advocate in the courtroom. They can help you understand the law in your jurisdiction, evaluate potential risks, and determine the best approach for your unique situation.
About me:
My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor, a mom, and someone who understands this battle firsthand. I acted as my own attorney and successfully protected my children in a system that I can only describe as inhumane. I am also a blogger, a certified divorce coach, a best selling author, and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. I divorced a narcissist and I prevailed. You can read more about me here. If you would like to know my full story, you can read Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle.
