Processing the Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse Through Journal or Conversation Prompts
Narcissistic abuse permeates our physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. Begin finding your voice again through these thoughtful journal prompts (if it is safe for you to do).
These reflective prompts, adapted from Audre Lorde’s writings, are geared to help you find your voice as a survivor of narcissistic abuse. Coercive control can cause victims to feel uncomfortable, confused, and suspicious even in our own minds. Learning how to use your voice, trust yourself, and accept and live in reality are crucial steps in healing.
Consider using these prompts for a guided, trauma-informed discussion with a therapist or safe friend, or as journal prompts in a private writing space where only you will have access to your answers.
What are the words you still can’t say, words about what happened, about how it felt, and about what it took from you?
What truths do you carry that long to be spoken?
Of the rules, roles, silences, and lies that the abuser forced you to live under, which began to feel like our own voice, fault, shame, identity?
What is the truth I am most afraid of saying out loud? Who is a safe person that can hold my truth with me, should I choose to share?
Years ago, Seth’s aunt, who was a child advocate at that time, wrote out an affidavit and submitted it to the courts on her organization’s letterhead.
I struggled with this situation for several weeks before finally writing a letter to the President of the Board of Directors of the non-profit agency. Finally, I received a letter from the Executive Director. In the letter, he thanked me for bringing the issue to his attention and assured me that Seth’s aunt was not acting on behalf of the organization in any capacity. He stated: “I have informed (Aunt) that the use of our letterhead in this manner was inappropriate and have made it clear to her that she is not to use our letterhead again regarding this type of personal matter or in any manner in which she is not acting in her role as an advocate for (our company).
”Seth’s aunt’s dishonesty and manipulation has weighed against him multiple times throughout our case and it was important to me to submit this letter, too, to the courts to further show what type of family I was up against. I decided then, and continue to choose this: To combat their deceptive nature with honesty and truth and to continue to stand up for myself based on principle alone. With that said, I also choose my battles wisely.
Domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, and systemic corruption seek to normalize themselves through the silence of victims.
Today, I challenge you to consider the prompts above, and if it isn’t safe or strategic to speak your truths loudly, to consider sharing them with a safe friend or your therapist.
Your story matters. You matter.
###
Divorcing a narcissist? You’re in the right place.
The fine print: I am not an attorney and am not qualified to provide legal advice. Everything I share is based on personal experience and over a decade of work supporting others through high-conflict custody battles. However, it is essential to consult with your attorney before making any legal decisions or implementing strategies discussed here. Your attorney is your legal voice and your advocate in the courtroom. They can help you understand the law in your jurisdiction, evaluate potential risks, and determine the best approach for your unique situation.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I’m a survivor, a mom, and someone who understands this battle firsthand. I acted as my own attorney and successfully protected my children in a system that I can only describe as inhumane. I’m also a blogger, a certified divorce coach, a best-selling author, and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. I divorced a narcissist—and I prevailed.
You can read more about me here.
