I Need Expert Resources to Divorce a Narcissist, But I’m a Victim of Financial Abuse
When your soon-to-be-ex has cut off your access to funds or monitors bank accounts, putting your life at risk, use safe and creative means to access the resources you deserve.
Whether you’re living in the same home as the narcissist and need to keep a low profile for your safety, or you’re trying to keep food on the table due to the narcissist’s economic abuse, you’re not alone.
Many survivors of narcissistic abuse experience the cruelty and frustration of not being able to access needed, expert resources that are essential when divorcing a narcissist and facing a child custody battle.
Specific, Expert Help YOU Need to Divorce a Narcissist
Navigating a divorce or high conflict custody battle with a narcissist can take as much time as a full-time job while piling on stress, overwhelm, trauma, and financial discord.
Rulebook Academy courses thoroughly educate you on topics that every single victim of narcissistic abuse navigating the family court system must know inside and out:
Understanding who you’re facing on the battlefield, how to protect yourself from their most vicious attacks, and how to proactively protect your children are crucial points of knowledge for every protective parent.
How Can I Access Resources When I’m Experiencing Financial Abuse?
Financial abuse can make it feel impossible to access the support you need—whether it's therapy, legal consultations, coaching, or educational tools to help you navigate the family court system. Here are a few safety-minded strategies to consider:
Enlist safe support: If you have trusted friends or family, consider asking if they can make a purchase on your behalf. This can prevent the abuser from tracking spending or gaining insight into your planning.
Reach out to local domestic violence organizations: Many DV agencies have funding or flexible options to help survivors access services discreetly. They may be able to purchase resources for you or connect you with grants or emergency financial aid.
Use public access points: If it’s unsafe to browse or purchase items from home, consider using a computer at a library or a local agency. This can provide more privacy and security.
Explore safe financial tools: Opening a personal bank account or setting up payment platforms like Venmo or CashApp (kept separate from any accounts shared with the abuser) can give you a small but vital layer of autonomy.
Frame it as a gift: If asking directly for help feels difficult, you might consider asking loved ones to contribute toward specific resources as a birthday or holiday gift.
You deserve access to tools and support that can help you move forward safely. Even if it feels impossible right now, there are creative and strategic ways to begin reclaiming your power—one small step at a time.
It’s not uncommon to feel uncomfortable asking for financial help from friends, family, faith communities, or advocacy organizations. But it’s important to reframe that hesitation: educational resources can be life-saving. They give you the strategy, clarity, and confidence needed to face a system that often fails to protect.
Asking for help is not a burden—it’s a necessary step toward safety and strength. You are worthy of support.
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The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. You can read more about me here.
