The Narcissist’s Three Favorite Love-Bombing Lies

Recognizing the signs early on is important - but did you know that narcissistic abusers use love-bombing tactics throughout the relationship to keep victims stuck?

Whether you’re two weeks, two years, two decades, or two lifetimes into a relationship with a narcissistic individual, it’s never too late to start recognizing the cycle of narcissistic abuse. 

Let’s dissect three lies most narcissists keep in their back pocket for use during the love-bombing phase.

“No one will ever love you like I love you.”

Isolation is a spoke of the power and control wheel and the post-separation abuse wheel. Narcissistic abuse can only thrive in an environment where the victim is experiencing at least psychological isolation from support.

When a narcissist uses a phrase like, “No one will ever love you like I love you,” they’re subtly communicating that the victim has no other option but the abuser. That this relationship is the best and only chance the victim has for love. 

And phrases like this can kill two birds with one stone, because while the victim is perhaps subconsciously absorbing the abusive message of isolation, she may also be falling for the love-bombing act and remaining stuck in the relationship (for now). 

“I promise I’ll do the work to change.”

While this phrase and others like it aren’t particularly poetic or flowery, they can make a victim of consistent, chronic abuse feel like they’re floating on clouds. 

To believe that an abusive partner recognizes their abuse and is committing to change can feel deeply grounding and meaningful - especially if the abuser has consistently denied the abuse and gaslit the victim. 

However, it’s important to remember that rarely - very rarely - do narcissistic abusers become self-aware enough to truly work toward change. And too often, abusers use promises of change to manipulate victims into staying. 

“It’s the intensity of our relationship that makes us soulmates.”

Often, we think of the intensity of “soul mate” talk happening at the very beginning of a relationship with a narcissist.

But some survivors who have stayed long-term, experienced the euphoria and deeply powerful feelings of being chosen as a “soul mate” by a narcissist years and even decades into a relationship. 

Identifying and establishing boundaries when you recognize love-bombing - whether it’s the first week or the fiftieth year of your relationship with a narcissist - can be life-saving. 

###

The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.

About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,”  I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. You can read more about me here.