Termination of Parental Rights

Yesterday was supposed to be “the end” of a ten-year battle for my family. We had filed a motion to terminate Seth’s parental rights. This would signify the end of a ten-year nightmare and the beginning of peace. It didn’t quite go as planned.

For starters, as we walked into the courtroom, my husband,Glenn, was served with new court paperwork: Seth is suing him in small claimscourt.

I will pause so you can make yourself some popcorn withextra butter.  

Ready?  Okay…here we go:

During our marriage, Seth and I purchased a 30’ Airstream trailer. In 2008, he loaded it onto the back of his truck and returned it to the bank because it was slated for repossession. I never thought about it again after that. 

When his brother, Jason Porter was arrested in 2016, we found out from their neighbor that they had been hiding the Airstream from me for all these years. And the kicker was that Jason had actually lived in it for a while. We contacted the police to see if it had already been searched as part of the investigation and discovered that it had not been searched. Glenn towed it off the property where it had been stored, drove it to a storage facility and allowed the police to enter it and search it to ensure there was no evidence related to the criminal case. I hired a PI to track the VIN number to the bank. We then turned it over to a repossession agent because it belonged to the bank at that point. Seth had successfully hid the trailer for eight years. When Seth discovered that Glenn took the trailer from their neighbors’ property, he decided to sue him for it. It’s retaliation for Glenn filing a motion to adopt the girls.

In the mind of the narcissist, it makes complete sense to file a lawsuit to retrieve property that is considered STOLEN by the bank. In addition, he committed fraud by not claiming it on his bankruptcy and, now by not disclosing it as a marital asset during our divorce. I seriously question the IQ that Seth likes to boast about.

Back to my case: Inmy mind, there are two parts to my case, and I have made a strong effort tokeep them separate:

1. My daughters and their safety.
2. Child support.

To Seth, these two issues were intertwined. I first discoveredthis when he submitted a “profit and loss” statement for my children in 2010.That was very telling, and I realized that we were on different pages when incame to our motivation for child custody.    

In 2011, Seth started his child support arrears balance at$15,000 when it was proven that he was hiding income (bonuses and commission).Over the next eight years, his arrears balance grew to almost $100,000. At somepoints in time, he was working three jobs for competing companies (one notknowing about the others) and making upwards of $20,000 per month. Over the years,he’d take minimum wage jobs so that Child Support Services (San Luis ObispoCounty) would latch onto something and then be satisfied that they were collectingmoney (less than 10% of what he had been ordered to pay) because the realityis, they don’t care. They have quotas to meet and they clock in and out. He wasliving in a mansion and making insane amounts of money but paying child supporton a minimum wage job.

To a narcissist, a custody battle is about three things: winning,control and money.

1. Winning: In his mind, he “lost” and he will neverallow me to live that down. For me, there are no winners in this equation. To him,winning meant taking my daughters from me or, turning them against me (DV byproxy) and because he didn’t accomplish either, he feels that I “won.”
2. Control: he lost control of me and he lost controlover our daughters.
3. Money: the almighty. I am willing to let himwalk away from $100K in past support and $100K in future support but that isn’tgood enough. Refer to #1 and #2 for why #3 becomes his focus.  

In California, termination of parental rights is very hardto do. My guess is that its difficult no matter where you are. Seth’s arrears balancefinally caught up to him when his passport was stolen and he discovered thatthere were consequences for the large sum of money he owed. That consequencewas that they would not issue a new passport to him until his arrears balancewas paid in full. The good news for him: peace is priceless to me and I waswilling to walk away from the $100,000.

Seth agreed to allow my ex-husband to adopt the girls andour hearing was yesterday. Due to a technicality, the hearing was continued. Sethhad stipulated to the adoption but not the termination. Because it is atwo-step process (termination and then adoption), we need him to first stipulateto the termination of his parental rights. My attorney is working to correctthis issue and if we are not able to obtain Seth’s cooperation, we have a newcourt date on August 2^nd, 2019.

At yesterday’s hearing, my daughters were in attendance.They are brave little warriors and I am so proud of how they handled themselves.After interviewing them each in chambers, the Judge stated that they were both “veryarticulate and forthright,” and that they were “equally impressive, wonderfulyoung ladies.” Never in a million years would I have signed my daughters’ up totake on such an adult role however, they were empowered and able to use theirvoices in an effort to secure their own peace and freedom. I look at them in amazementevery day. They have weathered an incredible storm and they are bright lightsin this world.

Last night, we were all feeling frustrated by the events of the day and my youngest daughter (age 12) said to me, “Mom, it doesn’t matter what the court says. We know that dad (Glenn) is our dad. That’s all that matters.”

Amen.