ALIENATION! HEARSAY! OVERREACTION!
How Family Court Judges Place Children at Grave Risk of Harm
Family Courts, in general, are disturbingly uniformed when it comes to how domestic violence manifests in people’s lives and the impact it has on children. Below is a representation of one judge’s overt abuse of power used to villainize a mother attempting to protect her two young children from a serial abuser. The parody below is based on true events.
CUSTODY TRIAL:
MOTHER: I left my home with my children because their father was abusing us.
JUDGE: You took the children out of the house?!? ALIENATION!
MOTHER: He pushed my two-year old daughter and I down the steps and threw a suitcase at her head.
JUDGE: ALIENATION!
MOTHER: I went to my parents’ house with our children because I was scared for our lives.
JUDGE: ALIENTATION!
MOTHER: Last time he got bad news he slammed his head into a wall and said he was going to kill himself.
JUDGE: That’s all in the past.
FATHER: I just love my family so much!
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MOTHER: He has OCD. He spends hours a day stroking his hair and whispering violent fantasies to himself.
JUDGE: HEARSAY!
FATHER’S EX-GIRLFRIEND: He has OCD. The things he says and does are horrifying. He was prescribed Paxol by a psychiatrist. I went to his therapy session with him.
JUDGE: HEARSAY!
FATHER’S MOTHER: He has OCD. Look, I talked all about it in this email. He might start taking his medication… HURRAY! No more beatings!
JUDGE: HEARSAY!
POLICE REPORT: Male suffers from OCD. Responding Officer recommended crisis intervention after domestic dispute.
JUDGE: HEARSAY!
FATHER: I don’t have OCD, I’m just a little superstitious.
JUDGE: Ok, I believe you.
JUDGE: Mother, stop tricking me into thinking mental health has anything to do with parenting ability!
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MOTHER: He threw me down the steps
JUDGE: I don’t believe you.
EX-GIRLFRIEND: He choked me.
JUDGE: I don’t believe you.
CO-WORKER: He pushed me off a treadmill
FATHER: But it was a super treadmill! Plus she made me mad!
JUDGE: Oh, well that explains that.
FATHER’S BOSS: I fired him. For assaulting that woman at work.
JUDGE: Irrelevant.
FATHER’S MOTHER: I had to call the police…a lot.
JUDGE: I don’t believe you…oh wait, here’s the police reports…DAMNIT!
POLICE DEPARTMENT: We’ve had him on surveillance for years…steroid use and distribution, domestics….
JUDGE: What time is lunch?
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MOTHER: My 9month old son was returned with multiple unexplained bruises across his head.
JUDGE: OVERREACTION!
MOTHER: He was treated at two hospitals.
JUDGE: OVERREACTION!
MOTHER: My daughter came home with a lump on her head. She was sent to the ER and diagnosed with a traumatic hematoma.
JUDGE: ………(dozing off) oh…uh…(to clerk) did she mention another injury? OVERREACTION!
MOTHER: I filed two petitions for custody during the investigations.
JUDGE: DENIED! Please stop taking your kids to the hospital when they come home with unexplained head injuries. It makes me do more paperwork.
MOTHER: My children have had 4 blackeyes and 3 fat lips between them in the past 6 months.
JUDGE: So?
FATHER: Here, watch this video of my kids smiling for.2 seconds so you can see how much they love me!
JUDGE: Awwww, that’s so cute!
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MOTHER: He has abused every person he has lived with.
JUDGE: You keep mentioning that, but I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IMPACTS THE CHILDREN!
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JUDGE’S VERDICT:
“Mother-you were not abused.”
“Ex-girlfriend- I know I told you that your testimony was compelling in court but what you said messes up what I want to do. How can I give this guy 50% custody if I include what you said about the choking…and ya know...the knife? That will make me look bad. So I’m going to pretend you weren’t there. Ok? Don’t take it personally.”
“Pediatrician- You are pretty and smart. That’s why I gave you so many compliments during your testimony. I know you graduated magna cum laude from Princeton, have been awarded numerous national honors, and have been working with children for over 25 years but… ‘Father is a danger to the children?!? NONSENSE!”
“CYS Caseworker- I don’t respect you because you kind of looked disheveled in court. So I’m not going to take what you said seriously about Father not properly supervising the kids and not feeding them. Make sure that doesn’t go on his record. He works at a prestigious private school!”
“80 year old male custody evaluator- Finally, one person that agrees with me-Father is the BEST! Thanks for writing that during your one hour observation Father dazzled you with his wonderful parenting skills. He rolled a ball to his son! BEAUTIFUL! Recommendation accepted! 50/50 for all! Good, now that that’s settled, who’s taking my lunch order?”
Note from Tina: I can’t take credit for this parody however, it describes my own family court case and it also describes the cases that I see day in and day out. If this incensed you as much as it incensed me (because it hits so close to home), please consider a donation to the George Washington University’s National Family Violence Law Center. Joan Meier’s research is part of the solution to a problem that has been going on for decades. As of today’s date (9/24/2020), 748 children have been murdered (Center for Judicial Excellence) by divorcing or separated parents. since my own child custody battle began in 2009. Joan Meier’s work is the first thing that has given me hope in many, many years.