May 2007- Triathlon: This time, I arrived for my annual camping adventure with a 2 year old and an 8-day old baby– and another c-section incision to deal with. I was ready! In fact, this year is was easier– I had become more robotic. I knew what to expect and I even helped pack for the trip this time! After all, I had four days to recover from a major surgery (yes, that is sarcasm). I remember explaining to the surgeon that I needed a pain pump inserted into my incision– I had read about them online and knew it would drastically cut down on the pain during the trip.
He was very good at manipulations and I was very good at buying into them. After all, if I was home (he explained) then I would be trying to do laundry, clean, etc. Somehow, he became a hero with a brilliant plan to help me relax. I packed my pain pills, crock pot, Vitamix and planned out our meals for the week. He packed up the Airsteam and off we went. He claimed it was the ideal situation— I could relax.
On the second night, I cooked a huge pot of pasta for a large group of 15 people. I remember feeling as though daggers were being inserted into my wound but I was the good little wife- no complaints from me!
My best friend was there during this particular camping trip. The funny thing is– we weren’t friends back then and we weren’t even acquaintances. It’s ironic that we are even friends now…she didn’t like me. She was there to support her husband and she thought I was pretentious in my “glamping” attire, new Airstream, new vehicles and my “shiny, happy life”. It was a show. I looked like the rich, modern version of June Cleaver but the reality is…I was sad, alone, pretending to be wealthy and I was miserable inside. Heck, I had a full stomach of staples and a pain pump attached to my waist– I was pretending to be pain-free also.
I pretended a lot.
I pretended in my mind that I was loved.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.