My goal is to rid myself of the anger and resentment that has come from this divorce. The marriage and divorce were both toxic. I feel like an emotional hurricane has just ripped through my world and now the I am dealing with the clean up efforts. My goal is to rid myself of those toxic emotions which will be mentally freeing on so many levels. I need to find the rainbow after the storm.
Two months ago, I sat in my therapists office and I told her that I have been in “battle mode” for so long that I haven’t had time to feel. I spent two years preparing for the next court date and going through the motions. Many times I felt robotic. I had to think of each court date like a project– and leave the emotions behind. Now in the aftermath of court, I am left with a TON of feelings that I need to process. The feelings are of anger and resentment. They are toxic and I want to free myself of them. Those feelings are not in my job description– I am a happy, fun and loving person. I am balanced (the Libra in me!) but I don’t want to balance good and bad in this case. I want to overflow with good.
I am taking steps to rid myself of the negative. With each post I write, I am able to re-live the experience, feel the feelings associated with the experience and then release the experience into the cyber-world. (Warning- step away from your computer screen as you don’t want to be in the line of fire!).
I watched a video this morning from Deepak Chopra on releasing toxic emotions.
Click here to watch the video: Deepak Chopra Releasing Toxic Emotions
Below is an excerpt from the video above:
Toxic emotions can cause toxicity in the body. Toxic emotions like anger, resentment, anxiety, guilt, fear, depression…
What is anger? Remembered pain from the past.
What is fear? Anticipation of pain in the future.
What is guilt? Directing pain back at yourself.
7 steps to handling toxic emotions by Deepak Chopra
- Take responsibility for your emotions.
- Witness them without judgement.
- Label them. Is it anger? Is it resentment? Is it guilt? Is it jealousy…
- Describe it. Describe it in the first person. Describe it from a second person’s point of view…a third person’s point of view. Expression.
- Share them with someone you trust.
- Release them through a ritual.
So, I will continue on my path of releasing these emotions so that I can begin to be “me” again.
Happy, fun and non-toxic…just like the crayons that I love so much 😉
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.