Saturday October 10, 2009- I took the girls to meet him at Starbucks – our normal pick up location.

As I got out of the car and started to help the girls out of their car seats, he handed me a piece of paper.  The paper detailed a new visitation schedule he was proposing which was centered around his triathlon/marathon training schedule.  I briefly looked the paper over and told him that I was not going to sign the document.  I told him that we could address this situation in court on Wednesday.  He looked at me and said, “You are an idiot”.  My response, “this is inappropriate in front of the children”.

As I continued to remove the car seats and children’s items from the car, he said, “You are a pathetic human being”.  At this point, my daughter started to cry and repeat that she did not want me to go.  She became hysterical and I took her over to a bench to comfort her and talk to her.  She said to me, “I don’t like it when Daddy is mean to you and I don’t want you to leave”.  He said, “Tina- this is divorce and THIS is your fault”.  I replied,  “Divorce does NOT need to be this way.  You are causing this situation in front of the children.  Please stop”.

My daughter continued crying for about 10 minutes repeating over and over that she didn’t want me to leave.  After 10 minutes, I explained to her that I would see her first thing tomorrow morning.  I gave her a hug and turned her over to him — she cried for me over and over as I walked away.   My heart was breaking with every step that I took.

As I drove out of the parking lot, tears streaming down my face– I received a phone call from my friend who was driving behind me and witnessed the entire episode.  We drove to a side street, got out and hugged in the middle of the street.  She felt my pain and I feel that God put her there at the moment I needed a hug the most.

One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.

History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.

Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat.  Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.

 

 

 

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