The thought of making my daughter’s bounce back and forth like a tennis ball made me feel physically ill. I couldn’t imaging packing them up for a weekend and watching them bounce around. I knew our current situation was over and I came up with a plan that involved a lot of couches and a lot of friends. I was determined to make it work.
I proposed a “nesting agreement”. I would wait for “him” to come home on Friday nights at which point I would leave for the weekend. I would stay with friends and I would be content knowing that my children were in their own beds at night. We had tenants renting an upstairs unit at the time so I felt confident that another person was there to keep an eye on things– and to alert me if things were bad.
By mid-May, I was couch surfing on the weekends. That term is fun if you are 19 years old however, I wasn’t 19. I made the best of it. I stayed with my bookkeeper one weekend and a high school friend the next. I hate asking favors of people so this was a very humbling experience for me. I missed my daughters greatly. I cried a lot and I drank one too many glasses of wine on occasion. Many of our friends were mutual friends. I felt out of place and new that I needed to create my own support network– friends outside of my traditional circle.
I wasn’t grieving in the way that you would expect. I had grieved over the loss of my marriage for two years before I actually left. Once I made up my mind that things were done– I was already void of emotion for the marriage. I didn’t miss “him” and I didn’t miss our life together. I missed my daughters.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.