October 15, 2009- With the help of a friend, I found a tiny little apartment for the girls and I. Keyword: Tiny. It was upstairs and in my mind, that meant there were no opportunities for him to be hiding outside and peaking into my windows. It was old and it was tiny but it felt safe. I told myself that it was temporary and I could make it work.
If I sat and thought about it too much then I got depressed. I felt like I was regressing in life. One year prior I was in a 4,000 square foot house and now….my entire apartment was the size of my old kitchen. Sometimes I questioned God– what did I do to deserve this? I just didn’t understand. I was a good person. I helped those in need. I loved and I cared about those around me. Why was this happening? Hellooooo, God! It’s little old me and I’ve had enough.
I always try to find the positive in every situation. Since he stripped my house bare, I didn’t have a lot of “stuff” to move— (this one was really a stretch and I am half- joking). Gotta keep my humor.
Manpower: Glenn and two of my good friends arrived bright and early on moving day and successfully moved us into our new home. Even though it was small– it was mine. I did it without help from him and it felt empowering. It was the first step forward into my new life.
Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Creating a home: Someone from my church gave me a bed since “he” had taken my bedroom set. I couldn’t bring myself to sleep on the toddler bed that he so graciously bought me. We didn’t have a kitchen table so we got creative for a while. We ordered pizza more often than I’d like to admit…there’s something to be said about sitting on the floor and eating a pizza. It’s not so bad, you should try it sometime. We used a small table from Ikea and explored the art of Japanese-style dining– cross legged on cushions. The girls thought it was fun so that was good enough for me.
I knew it was temporary and my goal was to move within a year. When I set my mind to something- I make it happen. That goal and mindset helped me to be at peace with our temporary home. We had a roof over our heads, food on our table…err…I mean, floor and we were healthy.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.