They just happen.
In June of 2009, I placed an online ad. As I said before, I was searching for friendships…not a mate. A man answered my ad and we had nothing in common.
Actually, we did have one thing in common– we were both single parents. Even in that realm, we didn’t have a lot in common: his boys were between the ages of 16 and 20 and my girls…only 2 and 4. He was cleaning sand (from surfing) out of his dryer vent and I was removing pink glitter and fuzz from mine. I remember joking about this over email.
I read his profile several times and wondered what we’d even talk about…he was a Park Ranger and my idea of camping is a 2-star resort. He was seeking someone who knew how to change in and out of a wetsuit with ease and enjoyed hiking. He sought someone who didn’t flinch at the thought of a “tick check”. For me, the thought of putting on a wetsuit weights up there with root canals and while I do own a pair of hiking boots…they’ve never actually been on my feet. The mere thought of a tick on my body makes me want to cry.
I reevaluated my initial thoughts– it’s just coffee. You are looking for friends. What do you have to loose?
Fast forward to today (two and a half years later)- this man has restored my faith in men. Luckily, I met him before my divorce got crazy because had I waited…I may have never dated another man for the rest of my life. I don’t know of another man who would have stood by my side through this roller coaster. He has been my rock, my support system and the love of my life. When I picture myself with grey hair– I picture him next to me.
Through him, I have learned that there are genuinely good men in this world. He loves my every color– the good and the bad. He doesn’t try to change me. He loves me for who I am now…and for who I will be in 20 years. He is patient, kind and he truly adores me.
When he says, “I love you”…I actually feel it.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.