This week, Narcissistic Personality Disorder has been in the spotlight when Christie Brinkley said a handful of simple words on the Today Show, “Google: Divorcing a Narcissist”. While the interview itself still angers me to my very core, I am thankful that people across the world are learning about this topic and becoming educated on Narcissism. I thank Christie Brinkley for bringing this issue forward with such class and strength.
This blog has given me so much healing and I am happy that it has begun to help other people. In the words of my little brother, “It’s so amazing how God can turn such a crazy situation into such a blessing for others”. I receive many emails from women around the world who find themselves in the midst of this battle (divorcing a narcissist). I’ve had the privileged to meet with several from my own area and it is such an honor to be able to encourage them in their own journey. Due to this topic receiving such great attention over the past week, I have even received emails from women in other countries. Once such email came through this morning from the United Kingdom and was especially touching for me to read. While I can’t share the email, I can share my response to the writer because it actually applies to anyone who is trying to stay sane while divorcing a narcissist.
Dear __(Fill in Your Name)___,
Originally, my blog was created as a way for me to heal. The same type of healing and peace that “journaling” gives a person. It has served its purpose ten-fold and has healed me more in four months than I received in two years of therapy. I have been able to re-live the experiences and the emotions – and then let them go. I have received insight into my own role and the confidence that I will never repeat this pattern.
At this point, much of my own healing is done and I continue the blog because of emails just like yours. Living with a Narcissist makes one question their own sanity and I know this from personal experience. It took two therapists to say the word, “Narcissist” for me to actually research this disorder. Being able to accept my reality and understand it rather than playing the constant victim was incredibly empowering. It also allows me to stay ahead of him because I know what is right around the corner the majority of the time. I can predict his emails, text messages and behavior in advance which helps tremendously. My goal is to give other women hope and to let them know—you aren’t the problem; he is.
It isn’t an easy journey and I encourage you to arm yourself with knowledge. The more you know and understand, the easier it is to deal with. Thank you SO much for reaching out to me!
Praying for you and sending you love– Tina
My advice to you:
- Arm yourself with knowledge.
- Stay safe and cautious – you are in battle with a scary person.
- Get help- for yourself and your children.
- Surround yourself with positive people and family members who can be your support system.
- Do NOT engage. At all. Keep all correspondence very business-like: zero emotions.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.