Over the past five years, I’ve lost four of my grandparents. Two of them have passed in 2012– one last weekend. It’s made me more aware of life and the short period of time that we have to enjoy our time here. It also makes me more determined to not take a single day, person or experience for granted.
I have come to realize through this loss that divorce doesn’t always need to have a negative label on it. Take my grandparents (father’s side) for example. My grandparents divorced when I was very young and they each remarried. My step-grandfather and step-grandmother were both extremely positive influences in my life. Together, my grandparents weren’t happy. Once they spread their wings and took flight, they found happiness. They found love. I saw this love and it will stay with me for the rest of my life. I have a great deal of respect for both of these individuals who became a part of my world through a divorce.
There are critics who claim that I’ve ruined my daughter’s lives by leaving my marriage. There are women out there that are afraid to leave their marriage because they worry about the impact on their children. I disagree. When I left my marriage, I was mentally prepared to be a single mother forever if that is what was intended for me. It took me a long time to get to that point but when I was done; I was done. I wanted my daughters to see examples of real love. I didn’t want them to end up walking in my shoes one day. My daughters were just under the ages of 2 and 4 years old. I didn’t know what was going to happen and I was terrified. I knew that I couldn’t stay any longer.
I know in my heart that I made the right decision.
The love that my grandparents found serves as a reminder to me that I did the right thing. That is the type of love that I want my daughters to know.