“It is”, I replied.
She informed me that she didn’t want to go and asked if she had too. I informed her that she did.
Do I want her to have to go? Of course not. Do I have a say in the matter– no. Do I want her to want to go? Of course I do. If she wants to go then that means it is a good situation. It means my daughter is happy and safe in his care. I have let go of that hope.
I asked her why she didn’t want to go with her dad. She was quiet and didn’t really respond. I let it go and dropped the subject. I want her to know that I am here for her yet I don’t want her to feel pressured. I want her to talk to me when she is ready. It pains me to know that this tiny six year old girl is feeling angst.
- I heard a voice from the backseat as I pulled my car into the driveway, “Dad calls you ‘T-Rex”, she said.
- “What”, I asked…confused.
- “T-Rex. Dad says bad things about you to everyone and he calls you T-Rex so I won’t know who he’s talking about”, she explained.
- “Who is everyone?”, I asked.
- “To Popi, Uncle Brian and other people in the family. He says really mean things and I don’t like going over there anymore. I wish I could just stay home”.
Deep breath. Another deep breath. I wish that she could stay home also. I hate that I am forced to put my children in the care of someone who doesn’t care. Their own father.
What I wanted to say: “He says mean things because he is a mean, sick person. He is an evil, selfish man who couldn’t care less about the damage he does to his daughters”.
What I said instead, “I don’t understand why dad would do that. That is hurtful to you and it’s hurtful to me. It’s a poor choice and I will talk to him about it”.
I emailed him.
I won’t get a response. It will be an excuse– an attack– a denial.
Tina Rex. I’ll claim it. I’ll claim it as my role in protecting my children. Fierce and fearless against evil predators.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.