Note from Tina: I am often asked, “How on Earth did you ever start dating again after your experience?” When I met Glenn, my husband and true knight in shining armor, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. My divorce with Seth had not yet hit the battlefield and I had no idea how bad things were about to get. Through my divorce, Glenn has been my best friend and my rock. Tonight, Glenn surprised me with a blog and I’m honored to share it with you. Love, Tina
by Mr. OMB
Over the past few years, I have walked with Tina during her journey and the development of One Mom’s Battle. Let me start by saying that every word she has written is true. Her memory is razor sharp and her organizational skills would put a law library to shame. The impact she is having on the world is no surprise to those who know her, it’s just something Tinas do.
So, why am I writing? Simple. Because you asked. Since the beginning of OMB, Tina has received a lot of questions from members about me. Who is he? How did you meet? How does he feel about this, that and the other. How does he cope? While I am generally reserved, I think it is time to share some of my perspectives, and answer some of the questions. I hope you enjoy this first installment. Please stay tuned for more.
Tina and I had been dating for a few months when I bought a new car. It had a few bells and whistles and buttons on it including lights in the speakers that pulsed with the music. As we headed out to dinner, she was checking out the interior. She reached out to touch a shiny black disk on the dash and asked, “What’s that?” It was a bracket for the GPS. I, being a smart ass, said with a concerned tone, “Don’t touch that!” It was a moment I won’t forget. She jerked her hand back, there was fear in her eyes and she began to shake and tear up.
Honestly, this wasn’t the first time my sense of humor had an unintended effect on someone. It was a long time ago, I was a 22-year-old Park Ranger on Lake Powell. My partner Kerry was flying in on the park plane and I had to pick him up at the small, remote airstrip. I was on duty and driving a patrol unit with lights, siren and a PA system. I had a new toy, it was a stress buster box that had buttons on it that when pushed made sounds like a ray gun, grenade launcher or machine gun. As Kerry exited the plane and walked toward the car, I keyed the PA and pressed the button on the box labeled “machine gun”. His reaction was expected; he jumped, called me a few bad words and threatened revenge. Unfortunately, the other person getting off the plane was lying prone on the pavement. He was a Vietnam veteran with PTSD.
When I hear stories from the front lines of OMB, I often associate images of people lying on the pavement, frozen in fear from the loud noises; running in full linear panic nearing exhaustion; surrendering; or, recoiling their hand in shock from the playful antics of a friend.
Fortunately, I know that if I am hearing their story, they have connected with this community. In it they will find, as Tina did, that they are not alone. That loud noises can be cheers of encouragement. That running can be just for exercise (highly recommended for coping with stress). That the white flag of surrender is really the checkered flag for the finish line, all they need to do is fill in the boxes. And, that the black button on the dash does not work the ejector seat unless the person sitting next to you is a Narcissist.
Seeking a private forum for advice, inspiration and support? Join Tina at The Lemonade Club!
Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle” is available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.