I found out a week ago that my X had hired a well-known attorney to represent him.  Prior to last week, we have both been in pro se.  It comes down to the fact that he has dug himself so deep that he is left with few options but to hire someone to bail him out of his self-inflicted disaster.

I have contemplated a few things in the past week:

1. Annoyance: I question how he can afford a luxury lifestyle and a new car along with a criminal attorney AND a family law attorney. I came to the conclusion that the courts will question that also.

2. Planning: I have thought about going forward and asking the court that he be ordered to pay for my attorney fees.  After speaking with a few people in the legal community who I respect, I am leaning away from that right now.  I feel that I have enough solid advice in my court and personally, I think I’ve done pretty well so far on my own.

3. Preparation: I could waste my time worrying about being in pro se against an attorney or I could focus my energy on tomorrow’s court date which is what I opted for.

I have come to realize that there are several categories of people who have been involved in my custody battle.  There are the ones who don’t want to get involved at all for various reasons and then there are the ones who get involved without knowing the situation and end up being manipulated by my X.

On Easter Sunday, my X went to my church and preyed upon several people who wrote letters to the court.  Two of those letters came from the pastor himself and one from the receptionist.  They didn’t do anything to be malicious, they did what he asked.  Essentially, the letters stated that he had been attending church since 2009 when we first enrolled our children in Sunday School.  This was true.  We were married and began going to church as a family.  The declaration went onto say that he has attended periodically since then.  In 2011, he attended on one date in November as I asked him to meet us there for the visitation exchange.  It didn’t say “regularly”, it said “periodically” but it was vague enough to move the situation into a grey area.

Narcissism and grey areas seem to go hand in hand.

After receiving the declarations, I approached the church and explained the situation in further detail.  Last night, the same pastor and receptionist were able to write me an updated declaration that is not vague and brings the issue from grey to black and white.

The revised declaration stated:

  • Tina is a member of (The Church) since completing the 101 Class in September of 2009 along with regular attendance.  Tina also completed the 201 class in 2012.
  • (The X) is not considered to be a member of (The Church) due to the requirements of the 101 Class and regular attendance.
  • Requirements of Membership: (these were then outlined in detail).

One benefit of my X hiring an attorney is that there is a place to actually serve the paperwork now.  The updated declarations were served early this morning and I feel confident about tomorrow’s court date. I can’t go into details until after court but there are several other items that I plan to move out of the grey area to their rightful spot.

Accepting prayers, pixie dust, love, hugs and happy thoughts for the truth to guide tomorrow’s proceedings <3  Tina

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