Private Investigators, Informants, Angels and maybe a little bit of good old fashion Karma have all been working in unison over the past year. I seem to stumble over little bits of information on every path.
I have to believe in my heart of hearts that good will always trump evil but sometimes it takes time, patience and a lot of faith. I know with every ounce of my being that my X is like every other Narcissist in the world: this custody battle has nothing to do with the well-being of my daughters and everything to do with winning. He has always been a great father when the camera was on or when someone was watching. That veil of deception is beginning to fall as people are discovering who he really is.
The lies are almost difficult to keep up with. Sometimes there is absolutely no reason to lie and it is baffling. For instance, he called over the weekend and want on and on about the Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon that he was exhausted from. He reminded my daughters of the island in the ocean that he had pointed out last year, Alcatraz Island. He told them that he had just completed the race—that he swam all the way from that Island and then rode his bike up hills and ran as fast as he could. The details of the race that he bestowed upon them were even believable to me. Since the weekend, I have discovered that he didn’t do the triathlon at all. He was in the area and would be considered a “lurker” but by no means did he run, bike or swim. Upon receiving this information, I scanned the race results and he isn’t registered. At all.
Why the need to lie?
I will never understand.
Trying to understand the purpose of his lies is like running on a hamster wheel—it never goes anywhere positive and is mental exhausting. In my own mind, I go back to times during our marriage where he constantly confronted one particular friend who he felt was untruthful at times. It almost became an obsession to my X – he would email the person and confront him on the half-truths and would bcc everyone in our friend group. At that time, I found it odd that he was bcc’ing our friends but now I understand that it was to take the spotlight off of his own lies and deceptions. The spotlight couldn’t possibly be shining in two places at once.
I believe that my X’s oldest brother summed it up best when he said that, “X is the most secure/insecure person in the world“. At the time, I didn’t understand what he meant. Now it makes absolute sense. To those who don’t know him, he comes across as overly confident. Once you are on the inside, he is the most insecure, tormented mind that I’ve ever encountered. He lies to re-create his own reality and it allows him to escape who he is hiding from everyone else.
Several people have recently pointed out that he sounds more like a psychopath with Narcissistic tendencies and the more I read, the more I have to agree.
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