The ups and downs of this battle get very, very old.

The ups::

  • This morning I discovered that while my ex parte (emergency hearing) was denied, the Commissioner did schedule a date on the calendar for October 24, 2012 to hear the issues at hand.  I take back the “failing grade” that I gave the Family Court System yesterday and will have faith that justice and the truth will prevail next month.  Seeking more prayers, positive thoughts and pixie dust.
  • I woke up to the kindest and most supportive messages on my personal Facebook page and my One Mom’s Battle Facebook page.  I can’t say it enough- I appreciate every kind word, virtual hug, prayer, positive thought and the love that I feel.

The downs: Yesterday I called the courthouse throughout the day to check on the status of my ex parte and finally received word at 3pm that the verdict was ready.  I made a mad dash down to the courthouse only to be told that the paperwork was still in the Commissioner’s hands.  The clerk then said, “I do know that it was denied” to which I replied, “Everything?  The hearing?  Everything was denied?” and she said, “Yes“.

I spent 12 hours feeling like I had been failed by the system in every possible way.  I was devastated and very angry.  I woke up feeling the same way.  I questioned what I could have done differently? I had my pity party.  I felt like I had let the girls down.

I left the house this morning and went down to the post office to gather my mail.  I received the paperwork submitted by my x.  I don’t know why I am still shocked by what he says and today was no exception.  One of the first lines that I read was in response to my daughter’s regression in potty training.  His statement read: “It is heart-breaking to see that (daughter) is now having nightmares while in (Tina’s fiance’s) home.  Apparently they wet themselves when they are with (Tina) and (her fiance).  Perhaps (daughter) is uncomfortable in the presence of another father figure that she does not know living in the house?”

Another father figure that she does not know?  My fiance first met the girls in November of 2009 and has played been a huge part of our lives ever since.  He has shown them love, stability and respect.  He has been at school open houses, he has watched plays and dance recitals, he stays up late building their toys on Christmas Eve and he has sat in hospital rooms on multiple occasions when my daughter had seizures.  My x hasn’t bothered to come to the hospital once since our initial separation despite knowing about each incident as it was happening.  For the past three years, my fiance has stayed by our side and has never wavered.  My daughters know this man and love this man.  I am thankful that he is in my life- and theirs.

He then went onto include declarations from his parents and his Aunt who he states is a CASE child advocate yet she is the same woman who instructed him to hide alcohol knowing his addiction issues.  His parents wrote glowing reviews of their son and took it a step further by telling blatant lies.  I am at a loss for how the court can possibly consider the testimony from these people who are obviously going to write positive things about their son.  Does this open it up for me to have my family recall disturbing events that they have witnessed within the family in an effort to discredit them?  Do I have each of my family members describe my parenting and their viewpoints of my divorce and the x?

A quote from his declaration, “Supervised visitation is not a service for men holding down challenging careers as Mr. x has.”  Yes.  He said that.

He went onto say that the IRS guidelines at .54 cents per mile should yield a reduction in his child support due to the distance he drives for visits.  Pages and pages of ramblings and lies.  I’m going to take a few days to breathe before I respond.  I am having an attorney review the paperwork tonight and would love your thoughts and opinions- how can a court possibly take his parent’s testimony into consideration?

One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.

History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.

Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat.  Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.

 

 

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