Gazelle 2I have never been able to watch the Discovery Channel.  I can’t even do the “one-eye peek through” while the Cheetah is chasing the Gazelle because it takes everything in me not to jump from the couch and scream, “RUN!!!!!”  Why am I discussing the graphic scenes of nature today?  Because the human-side of me is happy to report that two gazelles escaped the cheetah but sadly, one wasn’t so lucky.

Still confused, aren’t you?  Don’t worry, you aren’t alone.  I’m still scratching my head and doing the one-eye peek through.  Seth’s dating life reminds me of the Discovery Channel’s depiction of gazelles and the cheetah.

1. September 2012: I was contacted by a girl named Katie (Gazelle #1) who wanted my assistance in obtaining a restraining order for Seth’s disturbing behavior. Katie forward me each and every disturbing email and text message that Seth had sent her over the course of their two year, bi-polar relationship.  Many of the messages were drunk, angry and bizarre.  Some were of a sexual nature that literally made my skin crawl.  Katie and her friend both wrote affidavits for the court about the things that disturbed them about Seth.  When Seth found out, he went on a text-assault towards Katie and this was just one of many messages that she forwarded to me- most were obviously written while heavily intoxicated:    

“I wish you well.  But (its) your choice here. The law at every level I can engage will be involved. This is about children Katie, my daughters. Your true colors are selfish, black and empty.

My X needs to be honest about how much money her and her husband make. I wish you well. It’s sad you came into my divorce with a commissioner who sees through this. Justice will prevail. I can’t believe you sunk to that level to contact my X wife Katie. Unbelievable.  I wasted my entire day responding to the lies you gave to my X wife…a woman you never met. You’re one vindictive, selfish woman Katie. Having the ability to affect a Father’s lifelong relationship with his children. You should be ashamed of yourself. I am. How do you sleep at night?!?”

2. November 2012: Enter “Wendy” (Gazelle #2) –naïve girl from Southern California.  It seems that she had been a side project on and off during Seth’s relationship with Katie.  Some of the text messages from Katie referenced Wendy and one afternoon in November, I happened to be making photo copies of court documents in Kinkos when the door opened and in walked Seth and Wendy.  She was walking behind him and dutifully assisting him with his court paperwork.  Sadly, she reminded me of myself ten years ago.  Seth looked so nervous and we all spent 20 minutes in Kinkos together—even standing 10 feet apart in separate lines at one point.  While it was tempting to introduce myself, I didn’t.  Seth never told poor Wendy that the girl standing next to her in line was me…the evil ex wife.  Wendy probably envisioned Seth’s ex-wife as a woman with devil horns protruding through her blonde hair.

My daughters were introduced to Wendy in December and shortly after he stated to them that he was getting married soon—to “Wendy, Sharon or another pretty girl.”  Yes, he really said that.  Who says this to their daughters?  Is this the imagery that you give to your daughters?  Obviously it is—in the world of a narcissist.  Insert pretty female = instant public facade.

Wait…who’s Sharon?

3. January 2013: Sharon (Gazelle #3)- introducing Seth’s new fiance   I am safe to announce this as one of the other Gazelle’s forwarded me a set of their professional engagement photos in an effort to protect the rest of the herd.  The good news: two gazelle’s escaped and we can only sit back and do the one-eyed peek through on this one.

PS While I have used humor to write about this situation, my heart goes out to Gazelle #3.  I wouldn’t wish this journey on anyone. 

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Click the link to purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle.”  You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive (and thrive!) while divorcing of co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to decode the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

 

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