I went to drop the girls off at the X’s house yesterday for his Saturday visitation (11am-5pm) and found it somewhat odd that he was videotaping us as we entered his driveway.  He wastes a lot of energy trying to figure out how much money my fiance makes and often threatens to subpoena his earnings.  Now he is most likely focused on the new truck that my fiance purchased.  Meanwhile, I wonder if he will videotape me pulling into his driveway in the car that I own which has 160,000 miles on it?  This would be the same car that wouldn’t start today when I tried to leave my driveway.

My X’s mother recently mentioned that my daughter often played with the camera feature on the cell phone during the visitations.  I decided to speak to my daughter about the proper use of the phone and that it is not a toy but to be used for emergencies or if she needs to contact me.  The phone is court ordered to stay in my daughter’s possession during her visits and the X recently violated the order by removing it from her when she was upset and trying to contact me.  As I dropped the girls off, I said to him, “I’ve spoken to (Daughter 1) about proper use of the cell phone and she will not be using it as a camera or a toy during her visits but the phone must remain in her possession at all times”.  He replied (in front of the girls), “I will be getting that changed in court.  You are only using the phone for GPS tracking which will end”.  He then went on to say, “You are also tracking me on my iphone with spyware which is illegal and will also be stopped”.

Let’s take a step back into reality for a moment:

  • Yes, the phone is used for GPS tracking and the court is aware of that.  Was I the only one present when the judge asked if I had tracking on the phone and then removed my X’s ability to have overnight visits because of the lies about the girls whereabouts?  If he didn’t constantly lie about where my children were, I wouldn’t need to track them.  I don’t feel the need to track my children when they are with friends, babysitters or anyone else in this world.  I find it incredibly sad that I trust our babysitters more than I trust the father of my children.
  • Tracking him with spyware.  Maybe something called, “Tina’s Angel Spyware” but it has nothing to do with his phone.  To date, I have been contacted by four people whom I’ve never met in my life.  There was another new one this week.  These people live four hours away from me.  What do they each have in common?  My X has personally TOLD them about my blog and through internet searches of my maiden name, they have each reached out and found me on their own accord because they have also been victimized by my X in a variety of ways.  I have had information dumped on my lap without lifting a finger.  I had to laugh at the thought of me tracking him with spyware when I can’t figure out how to do the simplest tasks related to computers and phones.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

In true narcissistic fashion, my X goes around telling people that his ex-wife is obsessed with him and writes a blog about him.  Why would he tell people about my blog?  I do not use my married name in an effort to “protect” his identity.  I do not use his name in an effort to “protect” his identity.  I find myself amazed that he would tell people my name and tell them about my blog.  The only explanation that I can come up with is Narcissism.  He gains his Narcissistic Supply by believing that I am obsessed with him.  Ironic that I needed jumper cables today to recharge my car battery and he needs jumper cables to drain humans in a desperate attempt to recharge his Narcissistic battery.

Let’s take another step back into reality for a moment:

The purpose of my blog is not to talk about my X husband.  The purpose of my blog is to journal my personal experience while helping others who are dealing with a Narcissist or psychopath.  I am focused on documenting my battle in hopes of bringing change to the family court system.  I am focused on shining a light on the dark world of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Despite what the X believes, my blog isn’t about him.  Ironically, he is helping me to spread the word about my blog and about Narcissistic Personality Disorder to the very people who need the information- his victims.

One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.

History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.

Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat.  Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.

 

 

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