by Anonymous

I Just Want Peace

We have had 26 court hearings in 5 years. I tried all types of conflict resolution with Marriage Family Therapists, Co-Parent Counseling, Mediators, Collaborative Divorce and now litigation.

There is no “working together” with a Cluster B personality disordered individual. I am still not divorced from my abuser. Praying 2018 will be my year…. I Just Want Peace

Screaming was his mode of communication that ended in a punch. Abuse continued under the term “enlisted” with time in the military. A door was kicked down and many things thrown. Items have been kicked so hard they landed inches from our child. I’ve had things ripped from my hands and every name in the book has been used. I have been physically hit. Our residence has been damaged. Most of this witnessed by our child…I Just Want Peace When Domestic Violence was perpetrated and police were called I was talked out of pressing charges due to the officer making me feel like it was normal…since he had done the same to his girlfriend. Abuse started when I was pregnant and continues today. Why did I stay? I stayed as long as we could be safe and then I started my task of continuing the safety. I Just Want Peace

He has lied to the court about innumerable items including income to reduce support. He has lied to the evaluator to try to gain custody. He has lied to the judge to manipulate. He has lied to his family. He has lied to everyone involved. He has lied to his child. I Just Want Peace It was my fault his dirty cloths were on the ground. It was my fault he didn’t see his family. It was my fault he hit me. It was my fault police were called. It was my fault our child was not perfect. It was always my fault. I Just Want Peace

Sayings like, ‘But he’s the father of your children’ and ‘Why can’t you just get along’ are harsh and come from a place of mis-information and the need for education. Speak to the one making the claims and keep in mind that 95% of women’s allegations of abuse are TRUE . I Just Want Peace

I have over 10 binders now. I have filled up phones of pictures. I have filled up external hard drives. I have saved pictures and documents in multiple places “just in case.” I know who to call in an emergency and who not to. I know how to advocate for myself when the police choose to omit pertinent information. I know where to go to file all kinds of reports. I continue to document. I continue to listen and read and research. I continue to look over my shoulder. I continue to look ahead and pray that our journey towards peace continues. I have limited professionals involved, but they are the few that “get it.”…I Just Want Peace

The judgement has been intense. Those that hear the whole story have stuck around and “get it” and support us. I have a village of friends and family and Lemonade sisters. I’ve got this!

I Just Want Peace!


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