For the past few months, we have been working very hard on the “Educate your Judge,” campaign. My garage has become a production factory of these packets and my printer (and my husband) are working overtime. People continue to ask, “how do you know it’s making a difference?” or, “how do you know the judge actually reads the packets?”
Here is what I do know:
1. My own local courthouse became educated as a result of my continued efforts — my Commissioner called my ex-husband a “sociopath” twice on our final court date.
2. The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) junk-science movement made it’s way into courtrooms across America the very same way — through materials being mass-mailed to Judges and look at the damage that has been done to healthy parents by PAS accusations. (For assistance fighting PAS allegations, please reach out to Lorrie at LLG Tactical Coaching.
3. I have now received testimonials from two moms (Florida and California) whose cases have taken a different turn after sending the #EducateYourJudge packets. Here is what each woman shared with me:
1. “For the past eight years I have been entangled in the family court system fighting to protect my eight year old daughter. I have incurred over 400 thousand dollars in legal fees, undergone two custody evaluations and have been before multiple judges in Los Angeles County, California.I finally appeared before a judge who “got it”. Two weeks before my most recent court date my judge received an OMB educational packet. When I appeared before my judge he took the matter under submission and issued a ruling the following week. In his ruling it was clear that he actually “saw” through the narcissist and he “got it”. I truly believe that this major turning point in my case was based on my judge getting the educational materials about Cluster B personality disorders. When my lawyer and I discussed the judge’s orders we were shocked that the judge held the Narc accountable and actually described the Narc as “attempting to deceive the court, and purposefully omitting relevant information to mislead the court…” After eight years in family court and multiple judges I finally have a sliver of hope that I have a judge who understands what type of person I am dealing with.”
2. “Through the heart of Tina Swithin and OMB, I am so thankful to have found a source of strength, understanding and validation. Though we are fighting an incredibly uphill battle that seems too treacherous at times, there is immense strength simply in knowing you are not alone. I’ve read all of Tina’s books, follow the OMB blog and joined the Lemonade Club forum. There is so much to learn. Most recently I was honored to attend one of the Lemonade Club retreats which has been life changing already and I am still processing the fact that each of you share the same story. The resources that Tina has developed for our sisterhood make a huge difference in this journey. One of the resources that I was so excited to find was the Educate Your Judge packet. When I ordered this packet through OMB, I was so hopeful that maybe, just maybe, my Judge would even open the letter and then possibly even read it. Imagine my delight and shock when I sat through my next hearing feeling that he was suddenly listening with a different set of ears and looking through different eyes. In fact, I was stunned. I left the court room, my attorney and I both scratching our heads wondering what just happened, the tidal turn felt so obvious. It took a moment for it to dawn on me and I said, “He must have actually read the packet!” My attorney responded, “You know, that’s it…that has to be it!” We were celebrating in the hallway of the courthouse. To imagine that not only did he take the time to read it, but that it seemed he’d already figured out that maybe he needed to pay closer attention to our case! Our journey is nowhere near over currently, however, I have newfound hope that we may have an attentive ear paying attention. Just maybe we begin to turn some things around. Tina, I cannot begin to thank you enough and I want you to know that every amount of effort you are putting into educating us, cheerleading, coaching, supporting and making lemonade with us, is not in vain – it is lifegiving! Thank you isn’t enough! I plan to place my efforts into educating and making changes here in my county and helping others, this is only the beginning. Lemonade sisters, much love and big hugs. We are united forever.”
Can I absolutely guarantee that your own Family Court Professional will “get it” after receiving a packet? No. There will always be those that we can’t reach. What I do know is that education is the key to change and if these packets peak a Judge’s interest or cause them to begin doing their own research on the topic, it’s worth it. There are Judges who are open to learning — and I will keep shouting from the rooftops as long as there are family court professionals who are open to learning about Narcissistic Personality Disorder or other Cluster B personality disorders.