As the #MeToo movement crashes all around us, the reality that we have been duped is hard to ignore. We can’t turn a blind eye to the fact that we embraced Bill Cosby as our beloved dad on the Cosby Show – only to discover that he is a sociopath and a sexual predator. Those of us familiar with Cluster B personality disorders saw Matt Lauer’s true colors with the Christie Brinkley interview in 2012 yet the rest of America continued to welcome him into their homes every morning on the Today Show. Now, the world feels let down and repulsed as the sordid details of this predatory behavior meets the light of day. Those of us who are educated on Narcissistic (and Antisocial) Personality Disorder are wondering what took so long while those who have never crossed paths with one of these individuals are left feeling dazed and confused.
The Mentality of the Family Court System: “You chose this guy to marry and have children with – and now you expect us to fix the situation?” This is the archaic mentality that plagues much of the family court system from judges to custody evaluators. I heard these words in my own family court nightmare and I see it play out in courtrooms across America daily. This is the victim-blaming mentality that needs to change.
How can the professionals not see the connection between these narcissistic Hollywood players and the issues that plague the court system? The common denominator between the #meetoo movement, your case, my case and the majority of high-conflict divorces? Cluster B personality disorder. There is a lack of education when it comes to Cluster B personality disorders such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.
There is a wave of change happening in our country as brave women (and men) come forward and share their stories. I want us to ride this wave of education — please join me at whatever level you are able.
We are doing our part to get #EducateYourJudge packets into the Family Court System but we need your help to continue to ride this wave of education. We may not all have the financial resources to put up a billboard like the mother in New Orleans but we can do things on a grassroots level. You can now print OMB brochures or business cards (click here) to leave in coffee shops, at your courthouse or at local women’s shelters or, you can send an “Educate Your Judge” packet to your Judge, Commissioner, attorney, therapist, custody evaluator, or minor’s counsel. Get involved in your local court system, talk to attorneys that you meet in the court halls or reach out to your local DV center. I have seen the impact on my own local court system over the years but a change in judicial assignments in my area means that I am starting the educational wave all over again and I have a lot of work to do. Are you spending time in your local courthouse? If you aren’t, please start.