His credit score was the most important thing in the entire world to him. He bragged about it often. He bragged about knowing how to “beat them at their own game”. How dare they tell him that there were limits on his credit cards. How dare they lower his ability to spend if he was just a few measly days late paying the bill?
He knew the system– he had studied the system. He knew which credit cards report late payments and on which dates. He knew how to “transfer” things around. He derived a sick and scary pleasure from beating the system. It was like a high for him. It was a drug. He literally became glazed over and euphoric.
One Saturday morning, he wanted to go and buy a new car. Some people go for crepes and coffee on Saturday mornings- and some people buy cars just for the thrill of it. At the time, he had a Jeep and his ever prized Nissan Z (which I wasn’t even allowed to stare at for too long let alone touch). We also had my new car.
Three cars for two people– but he needed another one.
We went out looking for a car and he walked away with a brand new Subaru– he justified the purchase when I raised an eyebrow by saying it was perfect for zipping around the city and seeing clients. His other cars weren’t good for that according to him. On the way home, he pulled off into a Toyota dealership– he wanted a truck. A brand new truck made complete sense because his other cars weren’t good for transporting his Malamutes.
Seth went on to explain that if he were to purchase two cars on the same day, the credit bureaus wouldn’t “harass” him because it wouldn’t even register in their system until Monday morning. When I questioned the legalities of what he was doing he blew it off with his typical, “you are so dumb” tone of voice. I got the message loud and clear– “How dare you question me…you are a nobody”.
While others were reading the paper and enjoying their Saturday morning coffee, he was filling our driveway with new cars.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.