Saturday, June 4th, 2011 was a very important day in the lives of two little girls. It was the “Annual Father-Daughter Dance” through my daughter’s Girl Scouts Troop. The event was talked about at each Girl Scouts meeting for two months leading up to the event. The girls were so excited about attending this Greek Themed Ball. These events are a big deal when you are four and six years old.
At that point in time, my X’s visitation was to begin at 3:30pm on Friday and last until Sunday evening.
We drove to the Starbucks location on Friday afternoon where the pick-up was supposed to take place and we waited. Then we waited some more. He never showed up. We called his phone- no answer. We left a voice mail and then we drove home. I was livid. How could he do this to them on such an important weekend? To this day, I will never understand it.
I was careful not to upset the girls. Glenn and I had already discussed a back-up plan in advance. I had even discussed a back-up plan with the girls when my oldest asked, “what if daddy doesn’t come”. I told her that her Uncle would take her (he lives 2 hours away) or Glenn would be happy to accompany them. I’ve learned to always be a step ahead of him. Glenn offered to step in and take the girls to their dance. They were excited.
I got the girls dolled up in their finest Greek attire – white gowns with gold sashes, gold bracelets, make-up and fabulous up-dos. They danced, participated in hula hoop contests, played games and had a great evening. The night was saved and the girls were happy– that is what mattered most.
It is his loss–he missed out on a precious moment in time with his daughters.
I later discovered that he had been fired from his job just days before and spent the weekend drinking wine in Napa. Alcohol came before our daughters once again.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.