My X’s alcohol problems had been an issue on and off throughout our marriage. He was either a hard-core triathlete who trained six days per week or he was a depressed alcoholic who would sit on the couch for hours on end watching television. I hated how he acted when drinking. He was strange– very manic and somewhat feminine. I hated going to public events while he was drinking because it was embarrassing to watch.
I was staying at my little sister’s home in Orange County for the weekend with Glenn and the girls. My cell phone rang at 2am and I bolted upright and ran for the phone. The sound of a phone ringing in the middle of the night is never good news and my heart was pounding. My mind was racing and my first thought, “Oh my God- the girls!” before I quickly realized they were tucked in safe in the bedroom next door to me. I saw the phone number that was calling and it was him– at 2am.
A strange, unfamiliar voice was on the other end of the phone with commotion and music in the background.
Stranger: “I’m sorry to wake you but I called the last number that was dialed on this phone”.
Stranger: “I am concerned about the guy who owns this phone. He was extremely intoxicated and left his keys and phone behind. We are trying to make sure that he is alright”.
By this point, I am annoyed beyond belief. I am annoyed that this is the father of my children. I am annoyed that we breathe the same air on occasion. I am annoyed that this is a man who has a degree from UCSB in physiology/cell biology yet he is trying to pretend he is a 21-year old frat boy. I was annoyed that his drinking problem could mean that he was dead in a ditch and I was annoyed that his antics woke us at 2am.
Me: “I’m his ex-wife so I can’t help you. I will call you in the morning on this number when I can think clearly”.
I was also thankful that I was no longer in a relationship with this man.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.