I received an unusual email from “X” with an offer to take the girls on Valentine’s Day weekend– he wanted to switch weekends with me. He said, “I’m happy to take them so that you and Glenn can have a weekend away”. I knew something was up.
1. He has never said a nice thing about Glenn and in fact, constantly makes digs about him being older than me. The reality– Glenn is nine years older. That’s it.
2. He has never offered anything nice or kind in his life– at least not in the ten years that I’ve known him. His “offers” always have something to do with his needs or gains.
I declined stating that we didn’t have plans and would be home. He got frustrated and the truth came out– he had plans. He said that his work was sending him out of state and that he was unable to keep his normal visitation. He needed to switch weekends with me. I didn’t have plans so I agreed to switch.
The power of Facebook and Social Media— his Facebook page showed him snowboarding in Utah all weekend. Not the work trip that he had cited.
Why the need for lies? Someone once told me that if you tell one lie, you need to tell at least 20 more to cover the initial lie. I know this to be truth. Had he just told me that he needed to switch weekends, I would have gladly done it. Instead, it was a slew of lies– 1. He was offering to help us have a romantic Valentine’s Day…then he had an out-of-state work assignment…then he publicly posts Facebook photos of himself enjoying a weekend in Utah.
The lies are constant and unnecessary.
The truth is rarely utilized.
The result: I am always on guard.
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.