Supervised visits.  Something that I have fought so hard for.  I sat in front of the main office waiting to meet with the Director of the program.

I’ve had a pinwheel of emotions over the past few years– red, orange, yellow, green and blue.  Today’s feelings were yellow: peaceful, happy, relieved and filled with gratitude.

The color “red” served me when I needed to fight to protect my daughters.  “Pink” comes into play when I need to wear my “mom cape” and “blue” was a feeling that visited however, I didn’t let it stay for long.

I met with “Mindy” (yes, a fake name) who was the program director.  It was a simple, homey place where we met, went over policies and discussed the next steps in the process.  I felt at ease as she laid out the ground rules– visitation in a public place with many boundaries and limits.  She will be with my daughters at all times– not simply observing from a distance.  No visits inside homes or other similar situations.  No visits near bodies of water– ocean, pools or lakes.

My appointment lasted about an hour and I left with a good feeling.  As I walked outside, I heard doves cooing.  That is my “sign” that everything is just as it should be.  My children will be safe.


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