Taken from Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle:
Anyone who has dealt with a narcissist knows that they are the masters of projecting their own truths onto you. I have been called manipulative, dishonest, uneducated and vindictive. While I know that these are not my “truths”, I have worried on occasion that the court will be manipulated into believing these things from Seth.
Build your “foundation” from rock—the rock that comes from knowing what is the truth and what are lies about you. Prepare a “truth” and “lies” list and absorb both lists to your core (mind, body, and spirit). If through this process, you find some truths that hurt then put them on your list of “things to work on” and re-write the truth into a positive. Here is a personal example that I will share with you:
- Truth: I do not have a college degree.
- Things to work on: Learn to value my education and knowledge gained from outside of the confines of a classroom- college degree versus life experiences, reading, seminars, mistakes, observations and the wisdom shared by others. Look into a college “Life Experience” credit program; enroll in an online class.
- Re-written truth: I do not have a college degree at this time. I currently have knowledge, skills, and life experiences that are far more valuable than the information gained from a 4-year program. The world is full of educated idiots and I am not one of them.
After you’ve re-written your truth into a “positive”, find a quote or manta to remind yourself of your truths. Here are a few that I found:
“We are students of words: we are shut up in schools, and colleges, and recitation rooms, for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bag of wind, a memory of words, and do not know a thing.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“He is like a man which built a house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.” -The Bible-Cambridge Ed
“The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
– Carl R. Rogers
“Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.” -Albert Einstein
One Mom’s Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.
History of One Mom’s Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina’s battle spanned from 2009 – 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a “sociopath” and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.
Tina Swithin: Tina Swithin’s books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles.