Tina's Story

The Bizarre Ramblings

Sometimes I have a hard time understanding how my X actually holds himself together in court.  I know where his mind is and it frightens me.  Somehow, he is able to pull it together and “appear” to be a normal, functioning person.

It has been so long that we’ve had any sort of email communication that I forgot how truly bizarre he can be.  Unfortunately, his visitations will begin again this weekend.  10am-4pm Saturday and again on Sunday from 10am-4pm.  The Sunday time conflicts with our church times so I sent an email asking to change the time by one hour.

My email:

Dear X,  On Sunday mornings, the girls and I attend church from 9:00am until 10:30am.  I propose that we shift the Sunday visitation schedule to 11am-5pm (versus 10am-4pm) which would allow me to bring the girls to the designated pick-up location.  If you’d like to shift Saturday and Sunday to this (11am-5pm) time, I am fine with that to be consistent. -Tina

His response:

Tina,  I am not sure about this. Up until you moved in with your new husband, the girls were attending (XYZ Church) in (insert town here) which they greatly enjoyed.  Then you changed to a bible church in (another town) and didn’t even tell me.  – The X

It left me feeling like I just entered the Twilight Zone.  My husband?  I changed churches?  When did these things happen???

For starters, I am not even engaged let alone married.  I have been attending the same church for three years now– in fact, I’ve never even been to another church during my entire adult life.  I am left scratching my head.

This is a delusional man who the courts feel is competent to be around my children.

9 thoughts on “The Bizarre Ramblings

  1. Please proceed with caution. My x did this for years, sending me really bizarre emails just like this. I fell for it and just thought he was crazy. I would respond to him by sorting out the truth from the ramblings because I thought I should set him straight. The whole time it was just a game for him and his attorney. This is really a form of psychological abuse probably encouraged by an attorney or his family. As long as it is confusing and painful it takes your focus off you and your kids while you try to figure out what the heck he is talking about. At other times you become so incensed you cause yourself stress which weakens your ability to protect yourself and girls from your opponent. You lose focus and he takes a swipe at you. I just purchased Legal Abuse Syndrome by Karin Huffer. I wish I had had this book years ago.
    My x is so sick. He has killed cats, dogs, molested his brother and other neighbors in his teens, and been to jail for DV twice. All this was unknown to me when I met this handsome successful charmer. I only found out about his sordid history through reading his journals, arrest records and counselor notes after he left. He killed our daughters kitten against the fireplace in a rage, hid the body, rented a carpet cleaner and then told our daughter not to tell me. Thank God he told his counselor and she notated it in his file. I gave all this information to the Guardian Ad Litem and guess what? He gets unsupervised, overnight visits. My kids go with a molester and killer every other weekend. He still legally harasses me too.
    I don’t want to drag you down with this information but I thought I had nothing to worry about and everybody with a brain and a heart beat would see what a freak he is, but all he needed was an equally abusive attorney and I have lost it all but my kids.[for now] I want to warn you that your x may appear to be crazy as a ruse to hide his true cunning, brilliant, ability to plan an attack to take place when you are at your weakest.
    You are an inspiration to me and I thank you for your bravery and sharing your story with all of us.

  2. It makes you wonder if you are the crazy one…YOU AREN’T! Keep notes and hard copies of the e-mails. My Ex’s true nature is finally being recognized by people who thought he was so wonderful! It will come out eventually.

  3. Wow, so scary to read your story and the comments. The parallels to my ex-husband are so similar. I don’t have anything productive to add but I just wanted to thank you again for sharing your story…I can only imagine the impact it could have on other women in this same situation. Stay strong, you are so brave!

  4. Ladies- I agree. I’ve learned to be brief and “to the point” in my response or I don’t even respond at all if its too bizarre. No emotion– at all. In all honestly, I scratch my head and thing, “wow”. It used to make me feel crazy– now I know where to shift that blame.

    I sent the emails to my daughter’s attorney to further show his instability and bizarre nature.

  5. so how do you respond to his email? obviously you don’t correct him, since he is just trying to bait you. But can your daughter’s attorney try to step in and get an answer from him? I don’t think he’ll agree with the change unless it is in his best interest.

  6. Also- with his history of DUI and public drunkenness, can’t you request supervised visitation pending the results of a drug/alcohol evaluation??? can’t you ask for observed UAs? Im outraged the judge didnt recommend supervision with his documented history…. he shouldn’t be allow to drive those kids….I think you need to push for a alcohol evaluation and supervision and then court review pending those results….just a thought…

  7. Honestly, the judge saw ALL of the documented issues. The attorney for the girls recommended supervised visits. I asked for supervised visits. He didn’t rule in our favor.

    Currently, I am starting a letter-writing campaign to my local representatives and my mindset is to appeal. Trying to figure out my options as we speak— not going to sit back and accept this decision. His DUI court date is next Tuesday (21st). Waiting to see what happens with that before I act.

  8. I plan to give him written notice that I am changing the time on Sunday. I’ve already spoken to the attorney’s office about his email. Everyone who has read the email thinks the same thing I do– he’s nuts. We have a court date on the 7th (March) and I will address it there if we can’t agree prior. I refuse to engage him– that is what he wants.

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